| Thursday, January 24, 2008 |
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I've been watching performances from last year's Live Earth concert. Soon I'll get down on all fours and look for my jaw. There's wicked performances by Bon Jovi, Mellissa Etheridge, Metallica ... and it struck me how I was so much into old school rock when I was younger (and ironically, my hair was shorter) and now I havent touched my Deep Purple CDs in months. I didn't look beyond Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Guns N' Roses, Van Halen. I'd found my copy of 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge' at a used CD shop in Singapore and was delirious with joy for days because it was one of the first pressings, and now I don't even remember where i've kept it.
I used to be so old-fashioned.
Anyway, there's this song by Linkin Park called 'Bleed it out' which they performed at Live Earth, and it's absolutely mind fucking blowing. Mike Shinoda kicks it up wicked and how. I never thought watching a white boy rapping to a million clapping hands could be such a high.
this is it.
yeah here we go for the hundredth time
hand grenade pins in every line
throw 'em up and let something shine
going out of my fucking mind
filthy mouth, no excuse
find a new place to hang this noose
string me up from atop these roofs
knot it tight so i won't get loose
truth is you can stop and stare
bled myself out and no one cares
dug the trench out laid down there
with a shovel up out of reach somewhere
yeah, someone pour it in
make it a dirt dance floor again
say your prayers and stomp it out
when they bring that chorus in
i bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away
i bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away
i bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away
just to throw it away
just to throw it away
i bleed it out
go stop the show
choppy words and a sloppy flow
shotgun opera lock and load
cock it back and then watch it go
mama help me I've been cursed
death is rolling in every verse
candy paint on his brand new hearse
can't contain him he knows he works
practice hurts, I won't lie
doesn't matter how hard I try
half the words don't mean a thing
and I know that I wont be satisfied
so why try ignoring him
make it a dirt dance floor again
say your prayers and stomp it out
when they bring that chorus in
i've opened up these scars
i'll make you face this
i've pulled myself so far
i'll make you face this
now |
posted by n.g. at 14:30
(1) Peg(s) of Whisky
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| Tuesday, January 22, 2008 |
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spinning and sinking
automatic mindbrakes
hold them from their sides
come up for air
don't let go
spin into the black circle
one day at night
i will escape
from myself
laughing my tears away
hysterical and redundant
helpless and futile |
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posted by n.g. at 02:45
(1) Peg(s) of Whisky
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| Friday, January 04, 2008 |
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I like the way you think, he says suddenly, you make yourself the character. But not entirely, I tell him. He smiles. No one knows themselves entirely, so that puts you on even keel with your character. I remember an old conversation, when someone else had said something similar.
That can be both a good and bad thing, depending on the way you look at it, I had wanted to tell her. Sometimes one’s strength becomes his weakness. The fact that you can create, because you know how to. The fact that you can think, because you’re good at it. The fact that you reason because you can. The fact that you play God when you can – that makes you human.
I didn’t tell her any of this. I merely shrugged and called for another Bourbon and coke.
Even today I often feel that same searing confusion inside me that I first felt that day. I cannot be like Howard Roark, much as I would like to. I cannot be like aisa hai toh aisa hai. I cannot help but think about aisa kyun hai, aisa kyun hua, yun hota toh kya hota, yun hua toh kyun hua, iska matlab kya hai. I often find myself drawing the same conclusion, sometimes forcing myself to, but the thought process tires me out. Drains me and weakens me. My professional strength is a personal weakness. It can become pretty hard to live with sometimes. Not the conclusion as much as the fact that it’s possible to arrive at it in several different ways.
You shouldn’t think so much, you know, she had said later. We’re all human, it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. Most people are proof that even God is human. |
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posted by n.g. at 19:07
(0) Peg(s) of Whisky
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Name: n. g.
Home: Bombay, India
About Me:
this fire is burning and its outta control its not a problem you can stop its rock and roll.
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